I started a Certificate IV course last week.
I have an assignment due Friday.
My mind feels like it did 3 years ago when I was forced to do some programming after years of having done none.
The effort involved to get anything useful out of my mind feels almost like I'm trying to push start a freight train. The only time I did well as a student was during programming topics, but that was many years ago.
This course doesn't involve programming, so I'm a bit out of my depth.
I had a day of volunteer work today and was hoping to discuss my assignment with a couple of people. I did get to talk about it with one of them, but I don't feel as if I gained something that I can use. It was a busy day. I'm fried. I'll get a good night's sleep and get into it early tomorrow.
I keep getting reminders about Firefly (TV series) from the various computer-related things that I use.
When I go to shutdown my Lexar Jumpdrive I'm clicking on the words "Eject JD Firefly."
My Bluetooth wireless connector that plugs into a USB port on the back of my PC is made by a company calling itself "Blue Soleil." "Soleil" being French for "sun" (or sunlight).
Not bad for a show that only ran for one season :-)
I'm not sure why, but I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed by a whole range of competing things at the moment.
I almost missed an appointment today. I had it on a note attached to my computer screen, but I haven't had the computer on much in the last few days. Too hot. I'll be better prepared next time.
I slept in today (catching up on sleep. I don't sleep well during our extremely hot weather), thinking I had nothing planned and suddenly realised that I actually may have something on. I checked my list of appointments on my computer and sure enough, there it was. I raced into the shower, threw on some clothes and ran for the next available bus; 3 buses later, I arrived at the appointment with minutes to spare. The doc was late as usual, but that was OK. It allowed me to catch my breath.
I've been thinking about suicide again from time to time, but like learning to program in various languages - which I keep promising myself to do - it doesn't get any traction; medication prevents me from holding onto the thought long enough to follow through.
My sister is getting prepared for a wedding for one of her boys this coming weekend. I think everyone except me got an invitation for it. I get the feeling he has a grudge against me for correcting him when he was younger. He was using the anonymity of the web to abuse someone with whom I was friendly. I threatened to expose him, so I don't think he's ever forgiven me for that. Oh well.
My niece (his sister) tries to hide her disappointment when she sees me here, whenever she visits her mother, but it's fairly obvious she'd prefer to see my sister's ex here instead of me.
The family had a get-together here last Sunday, so I took off for the day to let them have the run of the place. They'd be more relaxed and I wouldn't feel uncomfortable around them.
The job network rep who has been reverse marketing employees to companies accused me of not being committed to the work he had put me forward for. I argued that the first company told me in no uncertain terms that they couldn't keep me on because I wasn't performing fast enough for them. He accepted that.
What I didn't tell him was that, at the second company, the person supervising me was antagonistic while I was trying to learn the job (I assume she was trying to gauge how I might react to a difficult customer), and she kept talking on her phone about a 'decision' which had to be made, whilst looking at me, indicating that I was what she was talking about. She took me away from the job 30 minutes before the end of the shift to go to the office for a talk. I'll admit that I didn't put up a fight to keep the job, but I had given it everything I had and felt slighted by the accusation (by the job network rep) that I had backed away from it too easily.
I've been out of regular employment for a long while and am deconditioned. I do a fair bit of walking, but that's not enough to prepare me for the kind of physical labour involved in those two jobs.
I exercise sporadically, depending on whether I have any excess energy or not. I'm lousy at keeping a diary too. I've tried on a few occasions, but enthusiasm just fizzles out. There are some things for which I am able to maintain some discipline, but just not those.
that sets you free.
My day started with my sister's cat chasing a rat through the house. It eluded the cat, but I managed to track it down in the bathroom. I rather stupidly grabbed it so that I could send it out the window to safety. It bit me. Hard.
That seemed to set the tone for the rest of the day. I was doing a day of volunteer work and I couldn't seem to get anything right.
Next time I'll throw a towel over it before trying to pick it up. Commonsense dictates this kind of approach, but I was not really awake at the time. It was early and I'm definitely not a morning person. It takes me a couple of coffees and about an hour or so before I begin to really wake up.
Is reading optional these days? It appears to be acceptable now to skim something and then supply a stock standard reply which has little bearing on the content of a letter or email.
I emailed my ISP about not being able to access the Data Usage page that shows how much Internet credit I have left.
I told them that the username and password was the same as the Webmail that they provide - which they would've known - but I mentioned this because I WAS able to log into Webmail, but NOT able to log into their Data Usage page.
My hope was that they would realise I wasn't just typing with the Caps Lock on or some other simple mistake, but their reply was that they had no other reports of people having difficulty with Webmail :-O
I mailed out a number of letters and resumes to organisations, asking for the opportunity to do some volunteer work with them, in order to gain some valuable experience.
The email which I received back from one of them says that there are no employment opportunities with their organisation at the moment, but they'll hold my resume on file for 6 months in case something turns up.
I've been here 6 weeks now. It's been a bit of bumpy ride, but I think I'm finally settling in here.
Next, I have to find some more work. The government is doing their bit to trip up any progress towards that, but - after having dealt with many different government departments over the years - that's expected.
There's no point in getting angry with them over that. That way lies madness. The pencil pushers don't know and don't care why I'm getting the run around. They suggested it was a computer glitch. Meanwhile, I'm caught in an agency ping pong, being bounced back and forth from one group to the other with no end in sight.
I should be used to that by now, but I do get a little tired of the endless @#$%-ups that the government dish out on a regular basis.
On a positive note, the weather bureau reckon we'll be getting drier, warmer weather in the weeks ahead :-)
My sister has an Apple computer. She has had trouble with the mouse pointer jumping all over the place randomly.
I don't know much about Apple machines, but I tried a number of different things to bring the mouse pointer under control. All of my efforts came to naught... until I swapped her mousemat with mine. Then her mouse behaved as it should.
Talk about a low tech fix. LOL
The physical move happened last Monday. Now, I have to prove to various agencies that I am who I am and that I have moved to a new address where I don't yet have my name on the lease. This will be a challenge. Centrelink can be very bloody-minded about this sort of thing.
Anyway, it's nice to be away from the place where I was living :-)
I'll be moving again some time soon. I don't know exactly when or where, but it's going to happen.
I've begun the process of discarding anything that isn't absolutely necessary. I don't have a whole lot these days, so that process shouldn't take too long, though there's always a lot of old paperwork which needs to be scrutinised before it gets dumped in the garbage.
I stopped at the library on the way home from my doctor today. I looked at a new book on writing. One page that I opened up to had a line that went something like "Sometimes getting no reply at all from a publisher is worse than a rejection."
I'm not a writer, but immediately thought of all the job application letters I've written which have gone unanswered. It's tough to maintain any level of enthusiasm when your efforts appear to be generating absolutely no response whatsoever.
My doc was very pleased that I had worked for a couple of months recently.
My knee is mostly healed now. I occasionally try to do more than just walk, and then it reminds me that it's not quite up to jogging yet.
I did something to my right knee a couple of weeks ago. I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but it's steadily getting worse.
I bought myself something to wrap around it today, in a bid to support it and encourage healing (if that's possible).
I'll see a doc some time next week and see if maybe an MRI might shed some light on why it's giving me so much grief.
I'm learning just how much I used to use that knee, now that I can't bend it properly (or even straighten it without wincing).
I saw a doc and he recommended that I continue to use the liniment and knee support that I'd been using, but also to take an anti-inflammatory medication (which I was able to purchase without a presc
I'll know next time. It's the first time I've needed something like that. I'm hoping I won't need it again for a long time, but I guess I can expect more of that, as my body refuses to do what it used to be able to do when I was many years younger.
I used to listen to music many years ago and would attempt to write stories which were influenced by what I was hearing. Not so much the lyrics, but just how a tune made me feel.
It's been a long time since I've done that, but were I so inclined, I've been listening to a track which makes me feel like I want to write again.
Marilyn Manson's "Cryptorchid" (from "Antichrist Superstar" 1996). If you go to 1:28 into the track the distortion there really appeals to me.
Sometimes when I hear music, I feel a tingle all over the top of my head, like it's activating parts of my mind previously unused. I've been getting that feeling from this track. It's very pleasant :-)
I've been leaving my window open at night, a lot lately, to allow some of the heat in my room to escape.
I set my alarm early so that I can get up and close the window before the heat of the next day gets a chance to ruin any reduction in temperature achieved overnight; which usually isn't much.
A couple of days ago when I did this, I got up, closed the window and went back to bed.
I woke about 4 hours later after having a pretty vivid dream about battening down the hatches in the home that I grew up in; knowing that some unnamed dread was going to raise its ugly head once the sun went down.
It's been quite a while since I've had a dream that I could remember with any clarity. Maybe all the 2012 Mayan hoopla is getting to me
the Spanish Inquistion! Our chief weapons are surprise, fear, a r-(roll the r's)-uthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope!
It's that time of year again when the government asks me to interrogate my fellow housemates about their name, age and when they moved in and how much rent they're paying.
One of my housemates has already capitulated... and I didn't even get to use the thumbscrews :-(
What my housemates pay in rent has absolutely no bearing on how much I have to pay in rent. It's calculated individually by the property manager, but that's not what the government wants to hear.
They (the govt) don't want to know, for instance, should all of the other housemates move out suddenly and I was the only person left, I would still be paying the same amount of rent. It's not shared accommodation in the usual sense of the word.
I'm waiting to ambush the next victim when he comes home from work.
I love Michael Crichton's stories. I get a chance to read a good story and learn something at the same time.
I've been eyeing his book "Micro" for some time now and finally decided to buy a copy so that I could enjoy it during the New Year long weekend. The book was apparently unfinished when Michael passed away, so it was finished by Richard Preston.
I haven't read any of Richard Preston's work before, but I think I'll be looking for his name in the bookstands soon. Learning should be entertaining :-)
I'm reading Ghost Watch by David Rollins - an Aussie author - and thoroughly enjoying it.
I've read a number of his books and he's been good value. His writing seems to be improving with each book.
I heard someone mention super string theory and it occurred to me that someone should tie in duct tape as part of what's holding everything together. Someone else had the same thought and posted it about 4 years ago.
On a more serious note, the people at the LHC (Large Hadron Collider) are trying to see if there's evidence for the existence or non-existence of the Higgs boson and hope to have something to report soon.
The guys at the LHC were pleased with the results of their tests, but still haven't quite been able to say whether the Higgs boson exists or not. They reckon they're closing in on that answer though. Hopefully some time in 2012.
I finished reading John Birmingham's "Angels of Vengeance" today.
I borrowed it from the library and I'm glad that I did. Otherwise I would've been forking out $25.00 for it and, on my rather limited budget, it wasn't going to be worth outlaying the money for it.
Maybe it's just me, but I think Mr Birmingham's writing peaked with his "Axis of Time" trilogy. His latest works ("Without Warning", "After America" and "Angels of Vengeance") were entertaining in some parts, and probably not a million miles from what could happen given the initial events in "Without Warning," but I got the feeling that he was coasting on the success of his previous work.
I went to donate blood yesterday.
Last time they had difficulty finding the vein in my left arm, and had to dig around a bit to get it. Not pleasant at all.
I assumed that the difficulty they had, getting the needle into the vein last time, was because I hadn't had enough to drink before.
So this time, I had so much to drink I was racing to the bathroom every few minutes. LMAO!
It had no effect on my veins though.
This time, they couldn't get anything from my left arm, in spite of digging enthusiastically. They asked if they could also have a go at my right arm, which had some promising looking veins.
The promising looking veins could be accused of false advertising because the nurse had similar difficulty getting a good vein from my right arm.
I mentioned to them that Mum had trouble with collapsing veins and they reckoned I'd probably inherited that. Bummer!
They finally got what they wanted, but I'm feeling a bit bruised this morning.
Where do I begin?
Almost anyone who has taken public transport in Adelaide will know how awful it can be.
You can wait for a bus which never shows up and then the next scheduled bus can be 15 to 30 minutes late.
I was trying to explain this to my gov't contact today, but she wasn't getting it.
That's not my only gripe. My lower back is very sensitive to bumps and vibration these days. I can arrive at my destination almost in tears from the bus driver lurching to a stop, then lurching again as the bus takes off for the next stop.
Then there are those adventurous bus drivers for whom roundabouts, median strips and curbs are ob
There are a number of buses that vibrate throughout the entire trip.
This hyper-sensitivity in my lower back has come to my attention during the last couple of years. Many years ago, my younger body would've shrugged off such discomfort, but I'm not so fortunate now.
I spoke with my GP about my problem and he suggested Voltaren Emulgel and Panadol.
The point of all of this was that I was trying to explain to my gov't contact that travelling for any length of time to a job site was going to have an impact on my ability to function.
When you're in pain, fatigue sets in sooner.
As so often happens when I'm agitated, I forget some important details; and I had completely forgotten about my lower back during the appointment today. That is, until I got on the bus to ride home.
Previous PostsStudy, posted July 31st, 2013
Firefly Still Around, posted June 7th, 2013
Overwhelmed, posted February 19th, 2013
Don't Bite The Hand..., posted October 3rd, 2012, 2 comments
The Era of Non-Reading, posted August 23rd, 2012
6 Weeks Later, posted July 18th, 2012
A Small Victory, posted June 26th, 2012, 2 comments
Progress, posted June 7th, 2012
Movin', posted May 30th, 2012
I Think, Therefore..., posted May 22nd, 2012
Look, Ma! No knee!, posted April 14th, 2012
Inspirational Music, posted April 9th, 2012
Heat-induced Zombie Dreams, posted January 25th, 2012
Noooobody expects..., posted January 3rd, 2012
Michael Crichton, posted December 30th, 2011
Ghost Watch, posted December 18th, 2011
The Fabric Of The Universe, posted December 9th, 2011
Latest Book, posted December 2nd, 2011
Collapsing Veins, posted November 9th, 2011
The Joys of Public Transport, posted November 8th, 2011
Sanvean, posted November 3rd, 2011
Lack of Progress, posted October 26th, 2011, 2 comments
AHCI, posted September 29th, 2011, 2 comments
Weight, posted September 27th, 2011, 2 comments
2012, posted September 13th, 2011
Body on Vacation, posted August 29th, 2011
Back For More, posted August 18th, 2011
Let The Laughter Commence!, posted August 14th, 2011
Silly Daydreams, posted July 26th, 2011, 2 comments
And then there were..., posted July 8th, 2011
Photo tag???, posted July 4th, 2011
80's flashback, posted June 26th, 2011
Too late, posted June 18th, 2011
Barbie the Environmental Vandal, posted June 8th, 2011
Maintenance, posted May 20th, 2011, 2 comments
Today's Selection, posted May 11th, 2011
Noisy Computer Fan, posted May 10th, 2011, 2 comments
Netbook, posted May 8th, 2011
Mothers Day, posted May 7th, 2011
Small Things, posted April 21st, 2011
Suggestions, posted April 13th, 2011, 2 comments
3rd time's a charm, posted April 4th, 2011
Bots in Yahoo Messenger, posted March 26th, 2011, 1 comment
3 - Britney Spears, posted March 21st, 2011
Current Book, posted March 20th, 2011
21 Years Ago, posted March 18th, 2011
Fashion Industry, posted March 16th, 2011
Water in short supply, posted March 14th, 2011
From Smoke to Water, posted March 13th, 2011
Smoke, posted March 7th, 2011
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