Fluoxetine. You might know it as Prozac.
Starting at a very low dose, 10mg/day.
I've had a problem with all of the SSRIs that I've tried. They all trigger a particular problem that I'd rather not broadcast. It makes my situation worse rather than better, so I'm still trialling various medications, in the hope of finding one with the least offensive side effects.
I did a search for the experience "I love spamming I love music," and guess what? It doesn't exist yet.
I understand some people feel the need to post song after song after song, but unfortunately it's sweeping away the more serious stuff where people are pleading for a friendly ear.
I've taken to clicking on the 3 vertical dots next to some stories now, that allow you to mute anything posted by that person. Sure, it means I'll miss their cry for help, should that ever occur, but in the meantime I'll get to see more from people who aren't posting frivolous entries.
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Now trying Duloxetine. It almost sounds like I'm being prescribed paint. Two coats, please! And don't forget the primer!
The time between medications can be entertaining. You're put through hell and then all of a sudden there's this relief of not having to cope with the side-effects. It's euphoric.
I heard Paloma Faith's "Only Love Can Hurt Like This" in a mall somewhere today.
Having seen Selena Gomez do "Fifty Shades of Blue", I imagined her doing this song as she demolishes a row of male admirers.
She puts the first guy into a glass box that says "In Case of Emergency, Break Glass."
The next guy gets to wear the axe that was sitting in the glass box; proving once and for all that love is a kind of madness ;-)
Side-effects so far are similar to what I've experienced with all other SSRIs, that I've had, with one more problem; something called "Dry Mouth" (Xerostomia). With it comes halitosis. Fun, fun fun!
I could actually cope with Dry Mouth if the other side-effects weren't so impossible. I'll see my doc again in a couple of weeks. Will see if this changes at all in that time. If not, I'll try something else.
Have been having trouble with headaches and general sort of feelings of physical unease. I tend to feel a bit better after a hot shower.
I'll still try to work tomorrow, but will keep an eye on whether it feels like I'm deteriorating further. My supervisor is aware of my condition, so I'll be able to let her know what's going on.
Will hopefully hear from the clinic tomorrow. They were going to contact me Thursday to arrange an appointment on Friday, but that didn't happen.
One of the adverts on the side of EP was for AsianDate.com
The ad said "Asians are looking for you."
I imagined a voice saying "... and when they find you. Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
LOL. I think that coming off of the latest round of antidepressants is proving to be a bit of a rush.
I'm off my medication! This lot has been as bad as the previous lot (3 weeks ago). So, in celebration I'm taking off all of my clothes and streaking naked around EP. Watch me go! :-D
Wrap rage, also called package rage, is the common name for heightened levels of anger and frustration resulting from the inability to open hard-to-open packaging, particularly some heat-sealed plastic blister packs and clamshells. (source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wrap_rage)
While looking for something else, I noticed a reference to Wrap Rage and wondered if it was a typo. The desc
It's one thing that I've managed to avoid because I always have a touch knife with me and have had since the early 80's. Back then, I was working in an automotive spares warehouse. The other lads were impressed with the tiny blade and asked me to supply them with their own.
I probably increased productivity a bit by doing that - no more having to search for a stanley knife to open packaging - but it wasn't something that occurred to me at the time.
The company was run by arseholes, so they wouldn't have acknowledged the improvement anyway.
Movies seem to come along in twos lately. I guess one studio gets an idea and the other studios try to do the same thing, only better.
Last year there were 2 movies about the White House being attacked:
White House Down
Olympus Has Fallen
Why not a 3rd movie?
They could have Antonio Banderas and Rodrigo Santoro leading a group of narco-terrorists to take over the President's plane.
They could call it Airforce Juan!
I started a Certificate IV course last week.
I have an assignment due Friday.
My mind feels like it did 3 years ago when I was forced to do some programming after years of having done none.
The effort involved to get anything useful out of my mind feels almost like I'm trying to push start a freight train. The only time I did well as a student was during programming topics, but that was many years ago.
This course doesn't involve programming, so I'm a bit out of my depth.
I had a day of volunteer work today and was hoping to discuss my assignment with a couple of people. I did get to talk about it with one of them, but I don't feel as if I gained something that I can use. It was a busy day. I'm fried. I'll get a good night's sleep and get into it early tomorrow.
I keep getting reminders about Firefly (TV series) from the various computer-related things that I use.
When I go to shutdown my Lexar Jumpdrive I'm clicking on the words "Eject JD Firefly."
My Bluetooth wireless connector that plugs into a USB port on the back of my PC is made by a company calling itself "Blue Soleil." "Soleil" being French for "sun" (or sunlight).
Not bad for a show that only ran for one season :-)
I'm not sure why, but I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed by a whole range of competing things at the moment.
I almost missed an appointment today. I had it on a note attached to my computer screen, but I haven't had the computer on much in the last few days. Too hot. I'll be better prepared next time.
I slept in today (catching up on sleep. I don't sleep well during our extremely hot weather), thinking I had nothing planned and suddenly realised that I actually may have something on. I checked my list of appointments on my computer and sure enough, there it was. I raced into the shower, threw on some clothes and ran for the next available bus; 3 buses later, I arrived at the appointment with minutes to spare. The doc was late as usual, but that was OK. It allowed me to catch my breath.
I've been thinking about suicide again from time to time, but like learning to program in various languages - which I keep promising myself to do - it doesn't get any traction; medication prevents me from holding onto the thought long enough to follow through.
My sister is getting prepared for a wedding for one of her boys this coming weekend. I think everyone except me got an invitation for it. I get the feeling he has a grudge against me for correcting him when he was younger. He was using the anonymity of the web to abuse someone with whom I was friendly. I threatened to expose him, so I don't think he's ever forgiven me for that. Oh well.
My niece (his sister) tries to hide her disappointment when she sees me here, whenever she visits her mother, but it's fairly obvious she'd prefer to see my sister's ex here instead of me.
The family had a get-together here last Sunday, so I took off for the day to let them have the run of the place. They'd be more relaxed and I wouldn't feel uncomfortable around them.
The job network rep who has been reverse marketing employees to companies accused me of not being committed to the work he had put me forward for. I argued that the first company told me in no uncertain terms that they couldn't keep me on because I wasn't performing fast enough for them. He accepted that.
What I didn't tell him was that, at the second company, the person supervising me was antagonistic while I was trying to learn the job (I assume she was trying to gauge how I might react to a difficult customer), and she kept talking on her phone about a 'decision' which had to be made, whilst looking at me, indicating that I was what she was talking about. She took me away from the job 30 minutes before the end of the shift to go to the office for a talk. I'll admit that I didn't put up a fight to keep the job, but I had given it everything I had and felt slighted by the accusation (by the job network rep) that I had backed away from it too easily.
I've been out of regular employment for a long while and am deconditioned. I do a fair bit of walking, but that's not enough to prepare me for the kind of physical labour involved in those two jobs.
I exercise sporadically, depending on whether I have any excess energy or not. I'm lousy at keeping a diary too. I've tried on a few occasions, but enthusiasm just fizzles out. There are some things for which I am able to maintain some discipline, but just not those.
that sets you free.
My day started with my sister's cat chasing a rat through the house. It eluded the cat, but I managed to track it down in the bathroom. I rather stupidly grabbed it so that I could send it out the window to safety. It bit me. Hard.
That seemed to set the tone for the rest of the day. I was doing a day of volunteer work and I couldn't seem to get anything right.
Next time I'll throw a towel over it before trying to pick it up. Common sense dictates this kind of approach, but I was not really awake at the time. It was early and I'm definitely not a morning person. It takes me a couple of coffees and about an hour or so before I begin to really wake up.
Is reading optional these days? It appears to be acceptable now to skim something and then supply a stock standard reply which has little bearing on the content of a letter or email.
I emailed my ISP about not being able to access the Data Usage page that shows how much Internet credit I have left.
I told them that the username and password was the same as the Webmail that they provide - which they would've known - but I mentioned this because I WAS able to log into Webmail, but NOT able to log into their Data Usage page.
My hope was that they would realise I wasn't just typing with the Caps Lock on or some other simple mistake, but their reply was that they had no other reports of people having difficulty with Webmail :-O
I mailed out a number of letters and resumes to organisations, asking for the opportunity to do some volunteer work with them, in order to gain some valuable experience.
The email which I received back from one of them says that there are no employment opportunities with their organisation at the moment, but they'll hold my resume on file for 6 months in case something turns up.
I've been here 6 weeks now. It's been a bit of bumpy ride, but I think I'm finally settling in here.
Next, I have to find some more work. The government is doing their bit to trip up any progress towards that, but - after having dealt with many different government departments over the years - that's expected.
There's no point in getting angry with them over that. That way lies madness. The pencil pushers don't know and don't care why I'm getting the run around. They suggested it was a computer glitch. Meanwhile, I'm caught in an agency ping pong, being bounced back and forth from one group to the other with no end in sight.
I should be used to that by now, but I do get a little tired of the endless @#$%-ups that the government dish out on a regular basis.
On a positive note, the weather bureau reckon we'll be getting drier, warmer weather in the weeks ahead :-)
My sister has an Apple computer. She has had trouble with the mouse pointer jumping all over the place randomly.
I don't know much about Apple machines, but I tried a number of different things to bring the mouse pointer under control. All of my efforts came to naught... until I swapped her mousemat with mine. Then her mouse behaved as it should.
Talk about a low tech fix. LOL
The physical move happened last Monday. Now, I have to prove to various agencies that I am who I am and that I have moved to a new address where I don't yet have my name on the lease. This will be a challenge. Centrelink can be very bloody-minded about this sort of thing.
Anyway, it's nice to be away from the place where I was living :-)
I'll be moving again some time soon. I don't know exactly when or where, but it's going to happen.
I've begun the process of discarding anything that isn't absolutely necessary. I don't have a whole lot these days, so that process shouldn't take too long, though there's always a lot of old paperwork which needs to be scrutinised before it gets dumped in the garbage.
I stopped at the library on the way home from my doctor today. I looked at a new book on writing. One page that I opened up to had a line that went something like "Sometimes getting no reply at all from a publisher is worse than a rejection."
I'm not a writer, but immediately thought of all the job application letters I've written which have gone unanswered. It's tough to maintain any level of enthusiasm when your efforts appear to be generating absolutely no response whatsoever.
My doc was very pleased that I had worked for a couple of months recently.
My knee is mostly healed now. I occasionally try to do more than just walk, and then it reminds me that it's not quite up to jogging yet.
Previous PostsAnd next is ..., posted September 25th, 2014
Spam, posted September 8th, 2014
Slip of the Tongue, posted August 22nd, 2014
Even more new medication, posted August 20th, 2014
New medication, posted August 10th, 2014
Day 4 Without Antidepressants, posted August 3rd, 2014
Asian Date website, posted August 2nd, 2014, 1 comment
Streak, posted July 30th, 2014
Wrap Rage. Huh?, posted May 27th, 2014
Movies, posted January 25th, 2014, 1 comment
Study, posted July 31st, 2013
Firefly Still Around, posted June 7th, 2013
Overwhelmed, posted February 19th, 2013
Don't Bite The Hand..., posted October 3rd, 2012, 3 comments
The Era of Non-Reading, posted August 23rd, 2012
6 Weeks Later, posted July 18th, 2012
A Small Victory, posted June 26th, 2012, 2 comments
Progress, posted June 7th, 2012
Movin', posted May 30th, 2012
I Think, Therefore..., posted May 22nd, 2012
Look, Ma! No knee!, posted April 14th, 2012
Inspirational Music, posted April 9th, 2012
Heat-induced Zombie Dreams, posted January 25th, 2012
Noooobody expects..., posted January 3rd, 2012
Michael Crichton, posted December 30th, 2011
Ghost Watch, posted December 18th, 2011
The Fabric Of The Universe, posted December 9th, 2011
Latest Book, posted December 2nd, 2011
Collapsing Veins, posted November 9th, 2011
The Joys of Public Transport, posted November 8th, 2011
Sanvean, posted November 3rd, 2011
Lack of Progress, posted October 26th, 2011, 2 comments
AHCI, posted September 29th, 2011, 2 comments
Weight, posted September 27th, 2011, 2 comments
2012, posted September 13th, 2011
Body on Vacation, posted August 29th, 2011
Back For More, posted August 18th, 2011
Let The Laughter Commence!, posted August 14th, 2011
Silly Daydreams, posted July 26th, 2011, 2 comments
And then there were..., posted July 8th, 2011
Photo tag???, posted July 4th, 2011
80's flashback, posted June 26th, 2011
Too late, posted June 18th, 2011
Barbie the Environmental Vandal, posted June 8th, 2011
Maintenance, posted May 20th, 2011, 2 comments
Today's Selection, posted May 11th, 2011
Noisy Computer Fan, posted May 10th, 2011, 2 comments
Netbook, posted May 8th, 2011
Mothers Day, posted May 7th, 2011
Small Things, posted April 21st, 2011
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